"I am crucified with love"

March 18Father, let me vent at least with you: I am crucified with love! I can not anymore, this is a very delicate food for one accustomed to regular food, it is precisely this that makes me continually very strong spiritual indigestion, the growing so that the poor soul groans while a great sorrow and a vivid love. The poor can adapt to this new way of being treated by the Lord. And behold, the kiss and the touch - I'll say so - substantial, most loving heavenly father that imprints on the soul, still cause extreme suffering.May the good Jesus grant him understand my true situation! And I, in the meantime, I urge you to treat with charity still want some more, and rule on this.Dearest father, meeting the needs of life, such as eating, drinking, sleeping, etc.., I find it so painful that I could not find proper comparison if not the penalties must experience our martyrs in the moment of supreme test.Father, do not think I exaggerate when using this comparison, not exactly. If the Lord, in His goodness, does not take away the knowledge in the time of these acts, as it did in the past, I think I will not last long, I feel I need support underfoot. The Lord help me and release me from such anguish!; Want to behave well with me and treat me like I should. I'm a stubborn rebel against the divine and absolute performances deserve to be treated that way.(May 18, 1915, Father Benedict of San Marco in Lamis - Letters. I, p.545)