The cross is the price of love

March 21

I know that the cross is the test of love, that the cross is a guarantee of forgiveness, and that love is not fed and nurtured by the cross, not true love, stays in fireworks. However, despite having this knowledge, this false disciple of the Nazarene feels in his heart that he is enormously heavy cross and often (no offense and not be angry, father, to what I say) will looking for a pious Cyrene relieve him and comfort.
What merit can have my love to God? I fear so much, if my love for God is true love. And this is also one of the swords, along with many others, I press at times and makes me feel crushed.
And yet, my father, I have a great desire to suffer for Jesus' sake. And how to explain it later, before the test, against my will, you find some relief? Much force and violence in these tests should I have to silence nature, so to speak, forcefully claiming to be comforted.
This fight would not feel it, sometimes makes me mourn like a child, because I think there is a lack of love and God correspondence. What about this?
Email Me, when I want Jesus, and always long; their responses on many problems, doubts and difficulties as light the hope of paradise, as beneficial dew on thirsty land.
  (April 21, 1915, Father Agustin de San Marco in Lamis - Letters I, p. 571)