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June 20
Yes, my father, I am deprived of everything, even the appearance of virtue, so much to seem to be a fatal lukewarm state, by which God will just reject me your heart every day. And I feel that my downfall is irreparable, and I can not find a way out of this. Woe is me, I lost the ways, means, props, rules, and if I try to wake my memory off, I present a mysterious dispersion ago, and I feel more lost than before, unable to get up , and the mysterious darkness becomes denser.God, why do you shake and remuerdes and return to again and mystify shake so violently to this troubled soul, this soul destroyed in a while and whose destruction would say that is moved, caused and loved by your same mandate and permission ?
(June 19, 1918, to Father Benedict of San Marco in Lamis - Letters. I, p. 1033)
June 17The love, joy and peace are virtues which become the perfect soul about what you own, the patience, however, the perfect back around what it supports.He said so far is what is necessary to the perfection of the soul within. For external perfection of the soul are necessary virtues, some of which refer to the way how the soul that strives for perfection must behave with others, others, however, refer to the regime's own senses.Among the virtues that the soul needs in relation to others, we find, first, the kindness, with which the devout soul, with their behaviors nice, polite, civil, unrelated to any rudeness, captivates and those with whom it attracts to imitate your life devout.But this is still very little. It should come down to the facts: and, behold, immediately comes kindness, virtue pushes the soul to be of use to others. And here it is worth noting two things very important to the soul that strives for perfection. One is to see that the neighbor does not take advantage of the good that is done, the other is not only that the neighbor does not always takes advantage of the good that is done, but, what is worse, to see that sometimes corresponds with insults and outrages. As well instructed soul happens frequently falling into deception. God save us from being victims of such ambushes laid by the enemy to ruin and run without prize.It is necessary, therefore, that, against the first ambush, we arm ourselves with the beautiful virtue of magnanimity, which is a virtue that allows the soul to never go back to seek the good of others, even when they see that no profit has neighbor . Against the second, you need to arm yourself with gentleness, which leads to suppress anger, even when it is matched with ingratitude, with insults and offenses.But all these beautiful virtues still insufficient if they are not joining the virtue of fidelity, by which the devout soul acquires prestige and each ensures that no act in bending.
(October 23, 1914, to Raffaelina Cerase - Letters. II, p. 197)
June 13
My daughter, do not patronize yourself: tender mothers spoil their children. Not be easy to lament and mourn. Marvel not these difficulties and violence, with much suffering manifest, no, dear, do not be surprised, God allows them to humble you with true humility, abject and vile in your sight. In this fight should not be otherwise than desiring God, making your way from the spirit creatures to the Creator, and desires of the Blessed continuous humility and simplicity of heart.c) Be kind to others and not get carried away by the impulses of anger, at those times often repeated these words of the Master: "I love these neighbors, Everlasting Father, because You love ', and you gave them to 've given brothers, and you want as you love them and I love them. And more still love these girls, your disciples, with which the same hand of divine providence has been with you and connected with a heavenly union. And do not be surprised to outbursts of impatience you usually have, because there is no blame on them more than when they come from a conscious, that is, with a warning that does not strive to dominate. Supports those poor girls, acarícialas, follow them in your heart, my dear daughter, as I have you in mine, a huge and growing specially true desire of your spiritual development, because God himself has forced me to this.(June 11, 1918, Herminia Gargani - Ep. III, p. 735)
June 12
You know, dear, that charity has three elements: the love of God, the love itself and love of neighbor, and my poor teaching put you in the way of practicing this.
a) During the day, often put all your heart, your spirit and your mind on God with great confidence, and say with the royal prophet: "Lord, I am yours, save me." Do not stop long to consider what kind of prayer gives God but still simple and humble grace in the affection that you have you yourself.
b) Even without stopping with pride, have your eyes open on your evil inclinations to eradicate them. Do not be afraid to never see you miserable and full of bad moods, focus on your heart with a strong desire to improve it. Try to straighten sweet and charitably when he stumbles. Above all, strive with all your might to strengthen the top of the soul, not entertaining you in feelings and consolations, but in decisions, goals and aspirations, faith, guide and inspire you reason.
June 10
How can I explain the shame atormentadísima tortures my soul? From Thursday to today I feel, more than ever, that my soul is full of extreme embarrassment. I feel the hand of the Lord has become more heavy for me, that the Lord is showing all his power to punish and, as a leaf blown by the wind, he rejects me and after me.Woe is me, I can not anymore! I can no longer bear the weight of his righteousness. I feel crushed under his powerful hand. Tears are the daily bread. I am restless, I look, but can not find it in his fierce justice.Oh my father, I can rightly say with the prophet: I have come to sea and the storm wrecked me, I cried and I'm tired in vain, my throat has become hoarse without getting any result. Fear and trembling have invaded me, and darkness covered me everywhere. I am lying on the bed of my sorrows, full of anxiety, looking for my God. But where to find it? From the bed of my sufferings and from my prison atoning vain attempt to return to life.(June 4, 1918, to Father Benedict of San Marco in Lamis - Ep. I, p. 1026)
May 8My heart is full of joy and feels increasingly hard to accept any suffering, whenever you try to please Jesus.But it is also true that the devil can not be wasting break the peace of the soul and weaken in the great confidence I have in divine mercy. And strives to achieve, particularly through continuing temptations against holy purity, that will inspire in my imagination, and sometimes also at the mere sight of things, I say holy, but at least indifferent.Following his advice, I laugh at all this as things that do not worry. But what at times makes me suffer, is not sure if, at the first assault of the enemy, I've been ready to resist. Admittedly, to examine me at this point, prefer death to deliberately offend my dear Jesus with a single sin, even if slight.(August 17, 1910, to Father Benedict of San Marco in Lamis - Letters. I, p. 195)
June 4
My God, I'm confused and I've lost you, but do you find? Or have I lost you forever?, Do you have condemned to live forever away from your face? ...My father, as I can I will Encroach in this dark prison is arduous advance in the grim darkness of these dense darkness, between the storm and the agitation of the enemy vexation, which uses the storm to prevaricate and beat me.I seek God, but where to find it? It has desavenido the very idea of a God Lord, Owner, Creator, Love and Life. All this has fled, and I, alas!, I lost in the thick darkness of the most dense darkness in vain shuttling between permanent memories, lost love and the impossibility of love. Oh, my Well, where to find?, I lost you, I am overwhelmed by the search for your footprints, because gladly accepted the offer I made full, and you've taken everything and stay in your sovereign authority. I surrender to you, and I hope you all mine protection to the full abandonment to love more painful delivery.(June 4, 1918, to Father Benedict of San Marco in Lamis - Letters. I, p. 1026)
