He was and is everything to me

August 3

Despair all, but not one that is life, truth and way, and I ask him everything and he abandoned me, because he was and is everything to me.Woe is me, my Good!, I would be all yours if I knew forever bow down to your alluring flattery, but at last I should bend to what I would not break me, should I bend before this sad but always true truth, which is the one and only given to me: perhaps you should miss me forever. Father, I cry, I am beside myself and I go by what I see and feel. The vain attempts to hold on to what I said my guide and obedience, I am led to a situation of real fear and discouragement, but I reject me and suffocation in his first assault.  (August 21, 1918, Fr Benedict of San Marco in Lamis - Letters. I, p. 1061)