Who will rescue me from myself?

August 7

My soul is fully committed to the clear picture of my misery!My God, I stand so sad spectacle to withdraw from me your ray of light reflected, because I can not resist so obvious contrast. Father, I see all my iniquity and my ingratitude at its best, I see my old man crouched, wounded himself, he seems to want to give back to God his absence, denying their rights, when it is your obligation to give them first.What force is needed to get him out!My God, come quickly to my aid, for fear I have of myself, treacherous and ungrateful creature to his Creator, who protects his powerful enemies! I did not know to take advantage of your splendid favors, and now I am condemned to live in my helplessness, hunched over myself, lost, while your hand is crushing me with increasing force.Alas! Who will rescue me from myself? Who will bring me out of this body of death? Who will tend my hand lest I see wrapped and swallowed by the vast and deep ocean? I have to resign myself to be caught by the storm that haunts me more and more? Will you need to ask yourself before say the mysterious character that left me totally wounded, and that does not give up on his hard, rough, sharp and penetrating action, and, leaving no time to heal old wounds, and is opening up on them new ones with infinite tears of the poor victim?Ah, dear father, come to my aid, for charity! Everything inside me raining blood, and often have to look resigned to her also run out.Oh, stop me this tear, this conviction, this humiliation, this confusion! I have no strength to resist power and knowledge.  (October 17, 1918, Fr Benedict of San Marco in Lamis - Letters. I, p. 1089)